Billy D’Arcy has funny bones and is a ripper of a stand up. His Facebook posts are funnier than most people’s whole careers. https://www.facebook.com/billydarcy1/
We asked Billy what he thought about Aussie’s reaction to Coronavirus and quarantine, this is what he had to say.
It’s so hard to take this seriously. Like, dead set. A virus. Australians don’t worry about things that can kill you unless they’re communist. Or not white. We certainly don’t worry about dangers you can’t even see. Here we’ve real dangers that crawl into your car, drop out of a tree or bite your mate Jamo on his surf trip up the coast. Real big scary dangers. I don’t remember Steve Irwin doing a common cold episode. I don’t remember him swapping the khaki’s for a facemask and hand sanitiser. That’s why it’s so hard to take this seriously. We want to, but it’s just not in us to worry. Aliens could land on the harbour bridge and there’d still be some bloke at the Opera house saying ‘don’t worry she’ll be right.’ In Australia, its cool to not care, not try and overall not give a fuck. Before Coronavirus the last bloke I saw use hand sanitiser was thrown into a bush because the other lads said it was gay. Whether he was trying to rub the gay on or off is still beyond me. Scomo said don’t go to the beach last Thursday. That went out the window as soon as the temp hit 26 degrees. Everyone was blowing up about Bondi beach being packed as if they’d forgotten most people in Bondi are cunts. They should have just pulled every shark alarm in the country and be done with it. So, I think we’re actually doing pretty well. You can’t just go from the most laid back country on the planet to rigid lockdown in one day. We’re going alright. My mum said I’m not allowed to come over for dinner because of social distancing. Last time I missed our weekly dinner she called me a selfish prick so the new rules are obviously sinking in. You have to keep in mind, most Aussies would rather die and be remembered as a loose cannon then live in isolation. Hundreds of years of toxic drinking culture and rewarding absolute lunatics and you expect everyone to turn it around in two days, that’s a big job. Quarantine just doesn’t suit us. Countries like Croatia will be fine because they follow rules and aren’t obsessed with their own culture like we are. So, they’ll live but at what cost? At least the Ausies that survive this will be able to still head over to Europe with the same loose cannon reputation we’ve always loved. I just hope the contiki tours come back.
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